i’m not sorry

you think this is about you.

hi,

most of you reading this probably grew up with twitter, i mean, uh, x, asking us to share our thoughts in 140 280 characters or less, it’s been easy for us to say whatever we want to. i’m sure the founders and product managers wanted their users to write something positive, but there came passive aggressive status updates and subtweets.

i’m a writer of many, also a receiver of many. we all have been there. being passive aggressive, online or offline, allows us to express anger and gives us the satisfaction of getting back at someone without delivering the message directly to them. currently we call this a toxic behavior.

trust me, i fight fire with fire, and growing up in an extremely misogynistic environment didn’t help. long story short, something happened which made me realize men would always be men and i mean this in the most disrespectful way possible. i was having a convo with this person and he made comments about the number of guys i’ve been with/talked to? or “played games with”. i was not in the mood to talk about what i heard but honestly it's fucking tiring. men do not seem to understand to leave women’s bodies alone, whatever a woman chooses to do with her own body is never a man’s business. every single comment this person made, it all boiled down to subtle slutshaming. it didn’t affect my self esteem as much, but it made me express my anger and i’d have been very rude to him but i had to control myself. hey you, you seem very upset and angry about what a woman decides to do with her pussy. have you tried fucking off?

i've got everything i ever wanted, family, money, independence, and the education that i want, but for some reason you think i’d be tied down by some worthless misogynistic man? "of course i am not worried about intimidating men. the type of man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the type of man i have no interest in." - chimamanda adichie.

there’s no single man in this world who can hurt my feelings. i know when a man is itching for a chance to call me a slut. plus whatever you have to say to me, i’ve already said to myself at least thrice.

i still fight fire with fire, but now i’m able to take a step back, try to calm down or just walk away.

it’s tough and kind of embarrassing to be writing this, but it’s even more embarrassing for grown up absolute dipshits of men to talk about what a woman decides to do with her body. i'm just a girl, writing to you, asking you to shut the entire fuck up.

also, if you have done something wrong, admit it. you don’t learn from your mistakes by only talking about what someone else did. you have to talk about your actions and process them in order to grow. otherwise, you’re only lying to yourself.

xx

ls.